We Bought a Zoo

I finally got to see the family friendly movie last night, and while I basically knew what the plot line was going to be, I genuinely loved it. The idea of radically changing your life to embrace the mere idea of change, ie, "why not" is rarely seen as a good thing.

While I haven't been blogging much, I have been trying to validate my own case for change. The reason for both, is simply that it hasn't been as smooth as I had expected. Not only does routine get in the way, but my own fears, thoughts (positive and negative) and the assumption that I am in it alone, has hindered said change. It's funny, the easiest changes were to see everyone else differently, the hardest changes have been to see myself. It's a strange paradigm to have to stand up to one self, when that same self is also the bully.

It was nice to see something outside of myself embracing change last night, and while it was a feel good movie, it really was inspiring. It pointed out how the big changes were do-able and often not a choice, but the little changes in one's self is hard, frightening, and even painful sometimes. So while these are not new lessons, that are in need of embracing again, and I will continue to try hard everyday and make the most of it. I hope you do to.

Being a "fat girl"...

I am beautiful. I am smart, brave, fascinating, and lovely. I have been wonderfully blessed, and oh yeah, I'm fat. I am not just a little pudgy, I am a "plus-sized" woman.

Take a look at this...

http://plus-model-mag.com/2012/01/plus-size-bodies-what-is-wrong-with-them-anyway/

Did you know that Marilyn Monroe fluctuated between a ten and a fourteen? She was "the" bombshell, and she could have never been that if she had been a size two (which is considered fat in modern day models). She wouldn't have had breasts to entice anyone in Some Like it Hot, and she certainly wouldn't have sang Happy Birthday to Jack Kennedy any better in that see through sequined number if she were just a "hanger" that is so sought after today.

Listen, if you're thin, Great! And if you're not, Great! It is time that we as women embrace who we are and stop trying to change ourselves into something that isn't realistic for us as individuals. Be happy with what you are, you're a one of a kind, a gem unto yourself, and treasure to those around you... just for being you.

This is me, unabashed, beautiful and honestly proud of who I am...

Being authentic, is worth it's weight in gold. Knowing that you're worth it... is beyond riches.

Authentic Living

Being on this precipice, and knowing that I have to jump is genuinely the most terrifying thing I have ever had to do. Being on this tiny little point has somehow gotten familiar.

For the last two and half years my life has been radically changing. After being laid off in the education system, I decided to stop surviving and begin living. I enrolled in college at 34 and began a dream of art, function and advertising. A year later, I realized that make those dreams happen I had to also go radical with my behavior, and change it as well. I have seen growth, which is fantastic, but in that I have also begun to see that there is real fear. In the time that I have been growing I now know my actual potential. I know that I am capable of greatness.

Now you would think that would be fantastic, and in truth, it is. Knowing that somehow I was given so much is amazing to me. I am truly grateful. But, the other side of that is, I have so much to give. The responsibility to myself, to my children, to my future husband,  and all of the people who have supported me through my change from caterpillar to the butterfly deserve my very best. Yet I know that they will all still be okay with me if I chose mediocre. Everyone except for myself. I will be disappointed in me, and therefor unable to serve the we in a the way that I am intended to.

So I stumble upon this in my morning facebook addiction...

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html


The perspective of being okay with not being okay is tough for me to swallow, because I do carry my measuring stick. Jumping out knowing that I may fail, that I may die not giving everything I had, and at the same time not using that as an excuse to be less then, is as momentous as it is paradoxical. Perhaps the next few months should be getting back to what I knew when I was five...  as Peter Pan said: "To live will be an awfully big adventure."

Someone I love told me to trust it... and well I trust him, and I have made one leap with him that is serving me well. Ready. Set....

2012 - The Resolutions

Every year as far back as I can remember, we are encouraged to begin the year with the word - I. As I look back on the last 20 or so years of my life I am pressed to ponder what if I began the year with the word - We?

You see I recently have come to realize that I am very much a part of a community. And while there are times I am arrogant enough to believe that I am the heart or the brain of that community, I am really more like the left cheek of the ass. I get sat on a lot, and my perspective is often facing the wrong direction, because I keep looking at the "I" in my world. The head and the heart are always "We"s.

I have also realized that I don't want the responsibility of being the head and the heart, and for the first time, that's okay too. So, I want to become an arm. Preferably a left arm. (I should start small and go with an elbow, but I don't ever do small.) You see, I am a great "do-er". I can do a lot of things, and do them remarkably well. What I don't do enough of is movement. And while I am not certain of the difference, I know there is one. A drastic difference. I know that this is fine line between real success and ho-hum progress. I am also a creative person, hence the SouthPaw inclination of movement. Left armed dominate people write upside down and often have the element of surprise because most everyone else is a Righty. I like not quite being the "usual".

So in conclusion...

My resolution this year is to become an arm, think in terms of We and actually move.

Getting To Know Me

Starting a blog as an outlet for the my creative self. I figure the best way for someone to get to know me would be in person, but since I am only one of me, this seemed like a good second option. 


I am hoping that this will be a place I can show off who I am while also highlighting and sharing talent of the people around me. 


So introductions are in order.
My name is LaNita and I have started a creative company called FatGirl Creative. I am not in any way uncomfortable with me, in fact the reason I have named myself as such is because I am not. I was born to do graphic design, and I am hoping that my talent matches my verve. :-)

Now, your turn.